The Hubby and I at our baby shower–it tickles me to see him holding those little pink shoes! =)
A couple of days ago I had another ultrasound to double-check the sizing of our baby and I couldn’t help but ask for confirmation yet again that we were indeed seeing a girl in there.
I’m still in a bit of shock as all I’ve known is life with boys. And, as badly as I hoped to have a daughter some day– the thought of actually being responsible for raising her is still pretty darned scary.
I worry about bringing her into this world as we know it today and not being able to protect her. I worry about the infestation of pink that is taking place in a house where we only knew blue, trucks and baseball. I worry about her fighting for attention with four older brothers. And, already, I worry about her becoming a teenager and the heart ache that could potentially bring.
Most of all, it’s just knowing that the dynamics of our household and of our family is about to change pretty drastically– and yet still not knowing exactly how.
When I went to register for our baby shower that we were so blessed to have our friends arrange for us– I felt dizzy. I looked at the wall of blankets and saw the two choices I always had before, sports and transportation. Now there was this looming wall of pink and purple bunnies, cupcakes, lady bugs, ballet shoes, princesses and owls. Oh, the choices!
And, speaking of shopping I’m already consumed with my future needs for a tea set, a doll house, ballet slippers and my own childhood favorite–Barbies. I used to raise my eyebrow at my husband who seems to get wrapped up in a string of hobbies and splurges on dirt bikes and sporting equipment for the boys like his life depends on it. One time he explained that he had always wished for a dirt bike as a child and was extremely let down when a promise to him for one fell through.
Now, that there’s a little girl coming into our lives his explanation makes so much sense to me. I think of my own childhood and how now there’s this need to replicate what brought me happiness as a little girl and to do more of what I feel I lacked. I understand now my husband’s desire to share with them everything that signifies to him a joyful boy’s childhood.
I still cannot imagine what it will be like to hold our daughter. But, I know a little bit about what I want to show her. And now, more than ever, I reflect on the type of woman I need to be every day because that’s just the thing.
I have to show her.
Our boys are intrigued by the foreign objects that have begun to enter our household– to say the least!
